A graduate in Zoology was having difficulties in finding a job...He saw an advert in one of the daily news paper for a job at a Zoo.
At the interview the Manager told him that their Gorilla which has been a tourists attraction has died, so they needed someone to dress as a gorilla since they have not been able to afford a new gorilla.
The graduate was embarrassed ?but since the salary was very ok and attractive,he accepted the job offer ?.On the first day,he put on the gorilla skin and entered the cage, started jumping up and down beating his chest while roaring like a gorilla...?
The next day,he put on the gorilla skin and started moving around the Zoo again and mistakenly entered another cage untill he found himself starting at a lion,the lion roared and started moving towards him?.The scared graduate forgot that he was a gorilla and started shouting like a human being "Help!Help!!Help!!!,"The lion leaped onto him, knocked him to the ground and whispered onto one of his ear; PETER,it's me KELVIN your course mate no fear,?? there's no work in this country....,infact you see that Crocodile down there inside.the water?,it's Micheal your classrep???????
CHEAP BUSINESS WRITERS
FUNCTIONS OF THE NAIROBI STOCK EXCHANGE
Details Category: Business Finance
The basic function of a stock exchange is the raising of funds for investment in long-term assets. While this basic function is extremely important and is the engine through which stock exchanges are driven, there are also other quite important functions.
1. The mobilization of savings for investment in productive enterprises as an alternative to putting savings in bank deposits, purchase of real estate and outright consumption.
2. The growth of related financial services sector e.g. insurance, pension and provident fund schemes which nature the spirit of savings.
3. The check against flight of capital which takes place because of local inflation and currency depreciation.
4. Encouragement of the divorcement of the owners of capital from the managers of capital; a very important process because owners of capital may not necessarily have the expertise to manage capital investment efficiently.
5. Encouragement of higher standards of accounting, resource management and public disclosure which in turn affords greater efficiency in the process of capital growth.
6. Facilitation of equity financing as opposed to debt financing. Debt financing has been the undoing of many enterprises in both developed and developing countries especially in recessionary periods.
7. Improvement of access to finance for new and smaller companies. This is futuristic in most developing countries because venture capital is mostly unavailable, an unfortunate situation.
8. Encouragement of public floatation of private companies which in turn allows greater growth and increase of the supply of assets available for long term investment.
There are many other less general benefits which stock exchanges afford to. Individuals, corporate organizations and even the government. The government for example could raise long term finance locally by issuing various types of bond through the stock exchange and thus be less inclined to foreign borrowing.
Stock exchanges, especially in developing countries have not always played the full role in economic development.
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Robbery with violence | #@Markmo
*CRUCIAL INFORMATION FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION*
A lady's handbag which contained her cell phone, credit card, purse etc was stolen.
Thirty minutes later she managed to call her husband from her friend's telephone, telling him what happened.
Her husband said, "I just received your text message asking me to remind u of your ATM pin and I have replied a little while ago".
When they rushed to the bank, the staff told them money had already been withdrawn.
The thief had used the stolen cell phone to text her husband and get hold of her PIN.
Within twenty minutes he (thief) had withdrawn her money from the bank account.
Pls when sensitive information is being asked for through text message, confirm by calling back.
Also, when being texted by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them.
If you do not reach them, be very careful about going places to meet family and friends who text you.
PLEASE PASS THIS ON. You will never know who this might help.
Crime Prevention Unit
*?? NEWEST MONEY DEAL ??* ???
*? SECURE EARN TECHNOLOGIES ?* (another one from Ceenet Technologies management ???)
*Launching on 22nd May 2021* at exactly *80 PM*
Registration ? is free
*Activation fee is Ksh 550 only*
*NOTE* All methods of earning are combined in a *central account*? ??? *Minimum withdrawal is KSH 400.*
? *VARIOUS WAYS TO EARN
*1. AFFILIATE MARKETING*
LEVEL 1 =KSH 350
LEVEL 2 =KSH 100
LEVEL 3 = KSH 50
*2. ?BLOGS* .
Write a simple blog about any topic of your choice and get paid a min of Ksh 50 and a max of Ksh 1500 ?
In partnership with Ceenet Technologies, users will be awarded a *10% commission* from ceenet products sold/marketed via their social media platforms.
*4. ?SPIN WHEELS.*
Active users will enjoy the following categories of spin wheels.
i) *New user spin* (Immediately after registration)
ii) *Free Spin* (available twice a week on select days)
iii) *Premium Spins* (stake as low as Ksh 50 and win up to X33 of your stake)
Answer simple questions and get paid Ksh 20 per question, and five questions will be provided.
*6. ?️YOUTUBE VIDEOS*
You will be paid Ksh 50 for every video you play. All videos are less than 3 minutes in length.
*7. ?FOREX CLASSES ?.*
Learn how to invest in the Forex from top-rated stock exchange experts. We will offer sure ForexSignals, Forex Trading from A-Z, and the Six Figure Capital, among others. User will then learn how to trade Forex, commodities, and cryptocurrencies methodically and make profits
We will provide short books in pdf format. Users will directly benefit from these, and they will include entertainment and business ideas, among others.
*9. ?DISCOUNTED AIRTIME.*
Users will earn 10% EXTRA airtime for every Airtime bought from our website.
*10. ?BEST AGENTS BONUSES.*
On Saturdays every week, the weekly top 10 agents will be awarded. The best will be awarded Ksh 1000 and the subsequent best agents Ksh 100 less.
*11. ⌛BONANZA POINTS.*
For every user (inactive and active) introduced to the platform, users will be awarded 5 bonanza points. 50 points will be redeemed for Ksh 20 worth of Airtime.
*12. ?PAY FOR CLIENT.*
This feature allows users to pay part of the fee for their friends etc.
*Other Privileges ???
Email notifications for:
_I. Direct and indirect referral earnings_
_II. Approved and paid blogs_
All transactions are free.
Get ready and keep it
*SECURE EARN Technologies.*
EFFECTS OF TRIBALISM ON AFRICA NATION BUILDING
Africa is a land that is highly blessed both in natural and human resources that posses a stable and peaceful
political terrain and a group of inhabitants that are culturally minded, patriotic and nationalistic in their
endeavours. The Africa land is occupied by people who love and cherish the land and as well regard Africa as
their most priority. Therefore illegality in African terrain should be guided and curbed to avoid up-heared. In
idea situation, lives in Africa should be peaceful and for long span of years.
Contemporary, Africa as a continent is depreciating in values and orientations towards meeting up with
the required standard of living. The advent of colonial rule ruined the stable peace, and flourishing terrain
experienced by ancient African. The colonial adventure initiated and inculcated in Africans diverse views about
the Africa land as most Africans posses little or nothing about their history. They have been brain-washed, thus,
most of these Africans antagonize the cultural values norms and knowledge that existed years before they were
born. Africans were made to acquire western education and western religion at the expense of their own African
education and religion and it is sad to note that they dwell in a lost world as they become novices about their
own existence. They act and execute western plans and dwell in western ideas and concepts which gravely
affected the growth of Africa. Today, the western world is seen globally as the supreme authority as they are in
possession of high technology, scientific experiences and even creation of technocrats. Therefore, the
impressions that most Africans posses that Africa is inexperience in handling her affairs aid Africans to ignorant
of the benefits and uses of our unique natural and mineral resources and as a result contact the western countries
for technological innovations, scientifical inventions and technocratic expertise. Africans are at the climax of
knowledge but they fail to acknowledge this fact, thus, they take the positions of been inferior to the western
world and as such Africa resources are utilized by the western countries.
Africa land has long agitated for nation-building so as to aid Africans posses her lost glory and abilities,
but the progress of this Africa nation-building have been foiled by some negative concepts that aided the mental
slavery of Africans. These negative concepts include tribalism, and a host of other negative concepts. Trib
*Eating Fruit on Empty Stomach: by Prof. Ken Anugweje, UNIPORT.*
This will open your eyes!
Read to the end; and then, send it to Others on your list as I just did to you!
*Prof Anugweje treats terminal ill Cancer patients by an* *"unorthodox" way and many patients recovered. He is also a sports medicine specialist.*
*He insists that all athletes eat fruits on empty stomach.*
Before he used solar energy to clear the illnesses of his patients, he believes on natural healing in the body against illnesses. See his article below.
It is one of the strategies to heal cancer. As of late, my success rate in curing Cancer is about 80%.
Cancer patients shouldn't die. The cure for cancer is already found - its in the way we eat fruits.
It is whether you believe it or not.
*I am sorry for the hundreds of Cancer patients who die under the conventional treatments.*
We all think eating fruits means just buying fruits, cutting it and just popping it into our mouths.
It's not as easy as you think. It's important to know how and when to eat the fruits.
*What is the correct way of eating fruits?*
*IT MEANS NOT EATING FRUITS AFTER YOUR MEALS!*
*FRUITS SHOULD BE EATEN ON AN EMPTY STOMACH
*If you eat fruits on empty stomach, it will play a major role to detoxify your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities.*
*FRUIT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FOOD.*
Let's say you eat two slices of bread and then a slice of fruit.
*The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines, but it is prevented from doing so due to the bread taken before the fruit.*
*In the meantime the whole meal of bread & fruit rots and ferments and turns to acid.*
The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil.
*So please eat your fruits on an empty stomach or before your meals!*
You have heard people complaining :
Every time I eat watermelon I burp, when I eat durian my stomach bloats up, when I eat a banana I feel like running to the toilet, etc.. etc..
*Actually all this will not arise if you eat the fruit on an empty stomach.*
The fruit mixes with the putrefying of other food and produces gas and hence you will bloat !
*Greying hair, balding, nervous outburst and dark circles under the eyes all these will NOT happen if you take fruits on an empty stomach.*
*There is no such thing as some fruits, like orange and lemon are acidic, because all fruits become alkaline in our body, according to Dr. Herbert Shelton who did research on this matter.*
If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruits, you have the SECRET of beauty, longevity, health, energy, happiness and normal weight.
When you need to drink fruit juice - drink only fresh fruit juice, NOT from the cans, packs or bottles.
*Don't even drink juice that has been heated up.*
*Don't eat cooked fruits because you don't get the nutrients at all.*
You only get its taste.
Cooking destroys all the vitamins.
But eating a whole fruit is better than drinking the juice.
If you should drink the fresh fruit juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it.
You can go on a 3-day fruit fast to cleanse or detoxify your body.
Just eat fruits and drink fresh fruit juice throughout the 3 days.
And you will be surprised when your friends tell you how radiant you look !
Tiny but mighty.
This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, vitamin E & fiber. Its vitamin C content is twice that of an orange.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away?
Although an apple has a low vitamin C content, it has antioxidants & flavonoids which enhances the activity of vitamin C thereby helping to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke.
*STRAWBERRY: Protective Fruit
Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits & protect the body from cancer-causing, blood vessel-clogging and free radicals.
*ORANGE: Sweetest medicine.*
Taking 2-4 oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent & dissolve kidney stones as well as lessens the risk of colon cancer.
Coolest thirst quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione, which helps boost our immune system.
They are also a key source of lycopene the cancer fighting oxidant.
Other nutrients found in watermelon are vitamin C & Potassium.
*GUAVA & PAPAYA
Top awards for vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high vitamin C content.
Guava is also rich in fiber, which helps prevent constipation.
Papaya is rich in carotene; this is good for your eyes.
*Drinking COLD water or drinks after a meal = CANCER.*
Can you believe this ?
For those who like to drink cold water or cold drinks, this article is applicable to you.
It is not nice to have a cup of cold water or cold drinks after a meal.
However, the cold or drinks will solidify the oily stuff that you have just eaten.
It will slow down the digestion.
Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food.
It will line the intestine.
*Very soon, this will turn into FATS and lead to CANCER!*
*It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.*
*Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive.*
A cardiologist says:
if everyone who gets this mail sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life...??????
*So lets do it*
*Paper Wave* is one of the *crypto-currency* models in Kenya ????. Crypto-currencies are virtual money that can be used to pay for things in the real world, such as a hotel room, food or even a house.
*Paper Wave uses stellar coins that vary in value depending on the market flow.*
The dynamic pricing makes it possible for people to trade and make quick profits.
Similar to the well-known Bitcoin. As others are selling, more are buying making it a low-risk investment with 99.9% chances of always landing profits.
*How to Get Started*
Register on the platform –
– by entering your details on the provided fields.
Pay the activation fee of Ksh 500 to get started on all the services provided by the site
Earn infinitely from trading the system coins, referral bonuses and much more.
The system also provides a very friendly referral bonus system. The more you invite, the more the bonus earned.
Level 1 (Direct) – $3 (Over Ksh 30
Level 2 (Indirect) – $1 (Over Ksh 10
Level 3 (Indirect’s Direct) – $0.5 (Over Ksh 5
Paper Wave Features
The platform also provides different types of spins depending on your budget. You can test your luck and stake a few coins for a chance to win big.
The system also provides a peer to peer platform to trade other crypto-currencies such as Bitcoin, Tron, DogeCoin etc.
All trades are escrowed by the system so it’s very secure. We make it easier for you to obtain and sell any kind of crypto-currency.
Are you interested in cryptocurrency but have no idea of how to start? Look no further! Paper Wave offers crypto classes on how to get started, how to know the perfect time to buy/sell your coins, the best platform to trade, the best platform to have your wallet, good trading practices and more.