1) These days, no manner of h£artbr£ak will make me to r£ject food. I rather çry with fufu in my m0uth

E no sháké me again. Las las everyb0dy go ch0p breakfast

2) My application to work in NEPA office has just been appr0ved.

I p!ty the street my ex is living. See dem see dárknéss

3) I invite h00kup bae. The next morning, she woke me up for morning dev0tion

No be juju be that?

4) They can dáté 8 w0méñ and still make y0u feel c0mf0rtable like y0u're the only one.

It's a sp£cial gift $át@ñ gave some méñ

5) This c0untry wahala too much. Some dey find fuel, some dey find new naira note, some dey find PVC, and some dey find their p£ri0d

6) Kissiñg uñder the ráiñ cañ be r0mañtiç, till th0ñd£r faya b0th of y0u.

This is Nigeria; not India

7) I remember the day my first ex br0ke up with me, I bath my aunt's son from 7am - 2pm

N0thing páiñ like first bréàkfast

8) You're n0t reading this by mistake, that pers0n you're owiñg must cátçh y0u today or tomorrow

I no geh j0y at all

9) The woman that always sell garri on credit to me don relocate.

Ayam fiñished

1 Do y0u remember how you used to cook with sand and komkom (tin tomato or milk container) when y0u're still a little child?

N were all riçh back then. I would make a plastic or paper wallet and fill it with guava leaves or c0unters as naira (m0ney)..

And I had two wives,